Boston Couples Therapy Counseling
& Relationship Therapists
Each one of us is involved in relationships with many people and the quality of those relationships has a tremendous impact on our physical and emotional health. Of course, we all bring to any relationship our own way of being in the world and our own self-image. Often we seek out partners in the hope, maybe even a subconscious wish, that they can “fix” us or help us to gain the confidence and self-acceptance that, in fact, we all must find as individuals. The goal of course, in a couples relationship, is to love and be loved, in whatever unique way each of us seeks that form of mutual and ideal bliss.
Whether we tend to be a bit of a loner or gravitate toward crowds, the relationship patterns we form beginning at birth affect our personal connections and, in the long-term, have a tremendous impact on our satisfaction and happiness.
5 Good Reasons to Begin Couples Therapy
1. The relationship is stuck in negativity
A couple may seek counseling if a long-term relationship or marriage has reached a stalemate and issues cannot be resolved, but the partners want to make a sincere effort to find a new path toward resolution. Often one partner begins going to counseling, but there’s a much more realistic chance of creating a better relationship if both people seek out the guidance of an experienced therapist.
2. Sexual issues
A healthy relationship must have a strong physical component based on the needs and desires of each partner. For some, probably for most couples, a passionate sexual relationship is desired, but emotional experiences from the past can get in the way of trust that leads to passion. For others, it might be important to spend time sitting close together on the sofa watching movies or walking hand-in-hand. Some couples enjoy close physical time in projects, perhaps building things at home, or may prefer hiking or camping. What can often cause a problem is the difference in the physical and sexual desires of the individual partners. That’s why it’s important to find a therapist you trust and are comfortable with, to clarify each person’s hopes and needs and find a way to reach a mutually satisfying physical relationship.
3. Preparing for marriage
Sometimes couples seek counseling before marriage and some go to counseling even if they are living together with no immediate plans to make it official. Getting a good start can build a solid relationship that endures through times when there is disagreement or trouble not of your own making, perhaps a job loss or illness in the extended family. Life’s challenges can and do happen in any family, and a couple is bound to experience some unexpected turmoil during the time they are together. Two people are never mirror images of each other and learning techniques for managing differences will enrich a relationship and give it the strength to stay afloat through tumultuous tides and calm seas.
4. Giving it one last try
People on the verge of divorce often go to counseling as a ‘last ditch’ effort to try to make it work. Working with a therapist you trust can help each person remember the reasons they were attracted to each other in the first place. If there are truly ‘irreconcilable differences,’ a therapist can help a couple understand why the relationship doesn’t work for the long-term, and guide each of the partners to move forward with insight to make future relationships better.
5. Family problems
Parenting conflicts can force the two people to grow farther apart, so turning first to couples therapy can help develop unified family goals and create a more peaceful home. The therapist may suggest family therapy, if it would be suitable to include the children or teenagers at some point.
The common factor in any of these, and many other issues, is that no one lives or functions alone. In many cases, the issues can’t be resolved alone, particularly if negative interactions continue to worsen the relationship. Emotional ‘triggers’ are frequently deeply embedded from childhood issues or other traumatic or hurtful events, leaving a person consciously unaware of why they react the way they do. Our mental health, with its strengths and knots, is intricately involved in our closest personal interactions, so this is where healing begins, in the intensity of the one-to-one relationship.GET STARTED!