Boston Online Couples Therapy Counseling
& Relationship Therapists

"The best therapy is the one you stick with." Maintaining consistency in therapy is critical to success. If the ease of accessibility and scheduling is compelling to you and your partner it is well worth it to consider online therapy. When this is combined with the fact that with the right therapist, online can be just as effective and meaningful as in person and the decision becomes more clear. 

The most important relationship we have in life is the one we have with ourselves. If we feel broken inside, no relationship no matter how strong can compensate. This remains work we have to do for ourselves. But it is true that a relationship when good can greatly enhance our lives and when bad, can bring pain, anger and despair. We are here for you to work with you and your partner to collaborate and find ways to bring greater meaning, improved understanding and increased level of acceptance to your relationship. 

It’s common to seek guidance from a mental health professional because the relationship patterns we’ve been using just don’t work anymore and frequently are causing a situation to worsen. It may seem on the surface a cruel irony that the person we want to love the most is the one that can trigger intense feelings, and not always good ones. But if we look at the wider perspective, that often annoying partner gives us a chance to learn to be a more understanding and compassionate person, and in the long run, to bring respect and joy to our most intimate relationship.

OK, we have to admit that people close to us can cause us much emotional distress, especially if they suffer from issues such as addiction, eating disorders, depression or the inability to manage anger. Just poor communication habits can lead to major disharmony. It’s also important to admit that it’s very possible that we played a role in our loved ones developing these problems. It’s our responsibility to improve and maintain our own mental health and do our part to contribute to the emotional health of the partnership, as much as is humanly possible. As part of a couple, one of our basic human instincts is compassion. 

That’s why it’s critical for both members of a couple in a troubled or dysfunctional relationship to seek guidance from a qualified mental health professional and learn new ways to create positive relationship patterns. 

Extensive research and ever-increasing options for couples therapy offer compassionate, results-oriented and confidential counseling that can spark breakthroughs leading to improved physical and mental health and peace of mind.

Each couple, and each partner in the couple, must be comfortable with the type of therapy chosen and find a therapist they trust in order to get the intended results – a healthier and happier relationship. Couples therapy is as much an art as a science and as such, it is important to find a therapist that you resonate with. Most therapists draw from an eclectic training background and often integrate concepts from various models, of which there are many. Here are just a few examples of the many options available in online couples therapy.

Narrative Therapy
This method seeks to understand the stories or themes that shape a person’s life. The essence of narrative therapy could be, “The person is never the problem – the problem is the problem.” This therapy endeavors to uncover personal intentions, values and dreams and to recall and emphasize positive instances of those experiences. Discussing the mental health issues as a “story” helps externalize the problems, takes away some of the negative charge and allows the person to gain new perspective. For couples, narrative therapy helps eliminate blame by externalizing the source of conflict. For example, where partners feel annoyed with each other, they can view “annoyance” as an external problem to be examined and resolved, with guidance from the therapist, rather than blaming each other as the personal source of annoyance.

Imago Relationship Therapy
Detailed in the book Getting the Love You Want by Harville Hendrix, originally published in 1988, Imago therapy is based on the theory that we tend to choose a partner who brings to the surface the emotional issues we need to heal in ourselves. The concept is that we are wounded in some ways as children and the goal of the partnership or marriage is to heal the unfinished business of childhood. While that may seem a recipe for tension, the long-term goal of Imago therapy is to understand the differences we have with our mate, why our partner may have developed what we may view as an annoying habit or perspective, accept it, and from there develop true compassion and patterns that create a respectful and mutually nurturing relationship. To put it simply, Imago is based on the theory that we instinctively choose, not someone who is a reflection of ourselves, but a “complementary” partner who will help us become an emotionally richer, more compassionate and more fulfilled human being.

Gottman Method
This therapy, based on 40 years of research by psychologists John and Julie Gottman, focuses on the couple creating shared fondness and admiration for each other. Couples learn to replace negative conflict patterns with positive interactions and to repair past hurts. Interventions are designed to increase closeness and intimacy and are used to improve friendship, deepen emotional connection, and create changes that strengthen the couple’s shared goals. This method works to reinforce trust and commitment to a lifelong relationship.

Experienced therapists often use a combination of techniques geared to the unique needs of the individuals to help the couple reach the goal of a healthy, well-functioning and more joyful relationship. Therapy can evolve with the couple as the relationship changes and improves. Each person may meet with a therapist individually at times, and at other times meet as a couple. There may be weekend opportunities that allow the couple time to be away from daily responsibilities and focus on each other. The couple will determine the type and duration of therapy in collaboration with a trusted therapist.